Category Archives: My realisations

We have our self made this world Duḥkhālayam Aśāśvatam

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Hare Krishna.

18th December, 2014, Gurgaon.

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Happiness

Two weeks back HG Bimla Prasad Prabhuji visited ISKCON Gurgaon center and gave a very different lecture on the famous verse of Bhagavad Gita.

mām upetya punar janma
duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam
nāpnuvanti mahātmānaḥ
saṁsiddhiṁ paramāṁ gatāḥ (BG 8.15)

Transaltion
After attaining Me, the great souls, who are yogīs in devotion, never return to this temporary world, which is full of miseries, because they have attained the highest perfection.

Prabhuji first asked how many devotees have heard the words ‘duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam’. When not too many hands raised, Prabhuji joked that these are very commonly used words in ISKCON and most of the devotees should have heard them by now. Then instead of explaining and expanding the purport Prabhuji asked the devotees what has been their personal experience of duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam. Prabhuji squarely rejected the standard replies of birth, old age, disease and death and asked devotees to introspect what has been their own individual experience of this world being duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam. Prabhuji stressed that experience is always personal and never general. Prabhuji also stressed that we should not follow blindly and should match what is written in scriptures with our own experience. And only when we see that whatever is written in our scriptures is matching with our experience then our faith becomes solid other wise doubts can creep in.

It was quite an interesting session as usually preachers do not push the devotees in this way. It was quite interesting when Prabhuji said that most of us do not remember our own birth and haven’t faced death and other experiences in life have also not been so bad, in fact life is moving quite well for most of the those present in the hall ! Prabhuji left his lecture with question hanging in the air for us to retrospect.

It got stuck inside me as I realised that I too could not think of what practical experience I can share from my own experience. I really liked the way prabhuji pushed us with questions rather than an answer to force us to think.

As the luck would have it Prabhuji was delivering his regular lectures at Punjabi Bagh temple the day before and I attended it via www.mayapur.tv. In the lecture Prabhuji again mentioned mentioned the word duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam but mentioned that bhakti is performed su-sukham (with joy) BG 9.2. Coincidentally I had used the same verse in my last blog, just a few days back. Prabhuji said that this is world is not a place of misery but we have made it a place of misery by not following Lord’s instructions. If we follow Krishna’s instructions then the life would be blissful. What a wonderful reply.

Today morning as I was chanting my rounds, my past experience which proved that this world is indeed duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam came floating in my mind.

I realised that there were two ways I had earlier made my life duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam and then I tried to match my own experience with few verses from scriptures. Here it goes, two ways by which I did everything wrong in my life

  1. Sense gratification by indulging in

a. Gambling
b. Intoxication
c. Meat eating
d. Illicit sex

Before coming in touch with devotees I broke almost all the above regulations. While trying to enjoy via my senses I never realised that every so called enjoyment was temporary and unsatisfying once it was over, each pleasure was momentary. I never realised that not only my senses remained unsatisfied but they also pull down my consciousness, which was going in a complete downhill trajectory. Also rather than getting satisfied, my senses were getting inflamed, each sense gratification would leave me for hungry for the same. The wait for a sense gratification was more satisfying then that particular pleasure itself. It was as if more is required to douse them but they were acting like a fuel in the fire rather than water!

BG 3.39: Thus the wise living entity’s pure consciousness becomes covered by his eternal enemy in the form of lust, which is never satisfied and which burns like fire.

  1. No God in my life : The main problem was that there was no place for God in my life. Well there was a god and it was me ! In my early opinion the world revolved around my interests, my satisfaction, my enjoyment! And when I won’t get it then I would become frustrated and angry and when I would get it then it was meant for me anyway and I was ready for more. I had no faith in God, leave aside in any scripture. Subconsciously I hankered for something but didn’t know what it was or what will satisfy it, and in the meantime I jumped from one sense gratification to another.

BG 2.66: One who is not connected with the Supreme [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness] can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace?

Later, Bimla Prasad Prabhuji spoke that it is not that the Lord has opened a torture chamber for us and we are being forcefully put into misery. The problem is that we are breaking almost every possible regulation written in our scriptures and letting our greed/lust rule our mind and intelligence, hence we are suffering. So it is we ourselves who have made this world duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam by our own conduct.

It took two lectures by prabhuji for a fool like me to realise what is actually meant by duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam and how by following the Guru, Acharya and scriptures my life has turned less anxious, the senses are a little more controlled and bhakti has made my material life far more satisfying and joyous.

BG 2.70: A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires — that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still — can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires.

I also realised that Lord is most merciful and when we take shelter of His name and His devotees, even endeavour to become His devotee then the same material world becomes far more peaceful and satisfying, as we start serving Krishna with our senses.

Srila Prabhupada gives a simple four way formula in his purport of Bhagavad Gita 13.8-12 on how to be happy in this material world

The best process for making the home pleasant is Kṛṣṇa consciousness. If one is in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness, he can make his home very happy, because this process of Kṛṣṇa consciousness is very easy. One need only chant Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/ Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare, accept the remnants of foodstuffs offered to Kṛṣṇa, have some discussion on books like Bhagavad-gītā and Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, and engage oneself in Deity worship. These four things will make one happy.

It will be, as Srila Prabhupada often writes, make the best use of a bad bargain !!

All glories to HG Bimala Prasad prabhuji.
All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Devotee’s reaction to material problems

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Hare Krishna.

15th December, 2014, Gurgaon.

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Expressing-Gratitude-to-The-Lord

I heard about someone not being well today and it made me think how I used to behave, when ill, before coming into Krishna consciousness.

Basically, not unlike a spoiled brat, I would raise a big hue and cry and ensure that the whole house would know how much I am suffering. And this would be for anything from a mild fever to a bad throat. My family would dread my ever falling ill. Priti, my wife, used to say that she prays to God that I should be the last person in the family to fall ill as I can’t tolerate even a small inconvenience and make everybody else life also miserable by my constant demands, while on the bed, and description about my suffering to any and every one who was ready to listen ! I would spend my sick time, when not complaining, either watching TV, reading novels or sleeping, in other words I would be plain bored and would be a irritated patient. I would rush to take the antiboitics the very moment so that I don’t have to go through any more cough and it used to work very well. I used to hate being sick.

Now to the present status. I fell ill for few days in the beginning of this month. It was nothing serious, I caught cold, which got worse and instead of taking antibiotic medicine I thought let me bear the whole discomfort and infection will pass in few days. I had to spend 3-4 days at home due to fever and cough. Eventually I was back in shape after a week. The whole house was quite as I found that by the grace of God I have suddenly got a lot of time to catch up with my hearing and reading. I was in a bliss. Of course there was some uncomfortableness due to fever and constant cough for few days, but it was just a small irritant or rather a very small price to pay for being able to hear and read so much. I was so happy that I can now hear and read without any comments from anyone in the family and I am sure they too were happy thinking that I was so quiet. It was too quite for their comfort ! Priti pushed me to go to office on third day as I seemed to be in no discomfort at all. I had to show her the thermometer and remind her of my constant cough that I am still sick ! She then questioned `why am I not seeing a Doctor?’ She commented that I seem to be enjoying it. How true it was. I politely told her that Doctor will just give me some antibiotics to relieve me of constant cough and fever and I am taking neem capsules to build stamina in my body and let’s just watch for one day more and if not recovered then I promise to go and see a doctor. With this excuse four days passed and I was back in action.

As I write and look back, I realise that not only my general health has improved after coming into Krishna consciousness, mostly due to regulated eating habits, but the time during the sickness too has improved tremendously. Now sickness means more reading, more hearing and no disturbance from anyone. It gives me a chance to come more closer to Krishna. Now, I look forward to being sick as well.

I searched for a relevant quote from Srila Prabhupada I came across this gem from HH Mahanidhi Maharaj.

Pride is so deep, that even when we are sick, we are proud of it. We tell others about our sickness, to get their sympathy and attention.

How very true, this was indeed me !

Maharaj then adds the below lines to his above quote

But Krishna’s devotees are humble. They never want any attention from others. They keep everyone’s attention on Krishna.

I haven’t reached this stage yet but atleast I know that I am moving a little away from the other extreme of trying to gain everyone’s sympathy and attention.

Krishna says in BG 9.2

rāja-vidyā rāja-guhyaṁ pavitram idam uttamam
pratyakṣāvagamaṁ dharmyaṁ su-sukhaṁ kartum avyayam

This knowledge is the king of education, the most secret of all secrets. It is the purest knowledge, and because it gives direct perception of the self by realization, it is the perfection of religion. It is everlasting, and it is joyfully performed.

Prabhupada writes in his purport to the above verse ‘The process of devotional service is a very happy one (su-sukham). Why? Devotional service consists of śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ, so one can simply hear the chanting of the glories of the Lord or can attend philosophical lectures on transcendental knowledge given by authorized ācāryas. Simply by sitting, one can learn; then one can eat the remnants of the food offered to God, nice palatable dishes. In every state devotional service is joyful.’

Sometimes looking for that big transformation within us we fail to take notice of so many small positive changes that have entered our consciousness and we miss the chance, every time, to pay our gratitude to our spiritual master, our Acharya and our dear most Lord.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
All glories to being in Krishna consciousness.

My Gurus in 2014…

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Hare Krishna

5th December, 2014. Gurgaon

If your car is moving, don’t forget whose push started it to get it going. Similarly, always remember the different gurus that got you moving on the path of devotion. HH Mahanidhi Maharaj

If your car is moving, don’t forget whose push started it to get it going. Similarly, always remember the different gurus that got you moving on the path of devotion. HH Mahanidhi Maharaj

As the year 2014 comes to I feel inspired to share and thank the devotees who helped me and inspired to take baby steps in Krishna consciousness. I, then, remembered how I had written a blog in Jan 2013 ( click here to read the same) and I thought let me take the same format and list down my own 24 gurus.

Let me recount that Shri Dattatreya had twenty-four teachers from nature as he told King Yadu…. The earth, air/breeze, sky, fire, the sun, pigeon, python, sea, moth, elephant, ant, fish, Pingala the courtesan, arrow-maker, infant/playful boy, the moon, honeybee, deer, bird of prey, maiden, serpent, spider, caterpillar and water are my twenty four preceptors.

Here is my list for 2014, this is not in any particular order, I am writing as I remember them.

  1. HG Rukmini Krishna Prabhuji, Delhi : He is and would always remain my shiksha guru and guide, whatever little I am today in my spiritual life is all thanks to him. Every time I listen to Prabhuji’s class I can see the quality of preparation behind it. I learn from prabhuji how one must always prepare well for his class, picking a topic and expanding on it and ensuring that devotees take home some learning from each class.

  2. ShyamSundar Krishna Prabhuji , Gurgaon : Prabhuji remains a very dear friend cum guide. I feel so inspired by his level of service. Prabhuji serves the local ISKCON centre very well. The amount of effort he pitches in, with the right attitude, and how he helps devotees in time of their need is very inspiring for me. On top of that prabhuji has a unique knack to ask open ended questions to make any class or discussion interactive.

  3. ShyamVihari Prabhuji & Shyamangi Radhika Mataji, Surangi Mataji, Parmeshwari Mataji and so many other devotees : What a feeling they have to serve their Guru, small things like who is going with Maharaj, lack of a back pillow in a class, a foot mat, they all have very good bhava to serve guru. I can only pray to them that by their association I too get same bhava to serve senior Vaishanavas.

  4. Mukundapriya Prabhuji, Surat : I personally experience how Prabhuji served Guru Maharaj in Gurgaon. Prabhuji will just sit outside Maharaj’s room like a servant, no questions, no comments, just there as a dedicated servant. I felt very inspired and try to copy the same feeling while serving Guru Maharaj.

5. Mukunda Prabhji., Ujjain : Prabhuji is a senior and very humble devotee. He visited us this year and bowled us over with his humility and honesty by sharing his challenges in spiritual life and asking advice from devotees half his age. Prabhuji acted as if to teach us this attitude. He showed me that I should never feel shy about asking help about any challenge I may face. I acted on it and got benefited.

  1. HG Vidurpriya Prabhuji, Delhi : Prabhuji is a senior preacher and has such an affable personality and everyone loves him. The quality I learn from him is `no envy’. He is always pleased to hear glorification of everyone and there is never a tinge on envy in him.

  2. HH Gopal Krishna Goswami Maharaj : I respect him so much. There was a recent incident where I personally realised how merciful and compassionate Maharaj is towards all. My day is simply made when Maharaj’s merciful eyes fall on my fallen body and soul.

  3. Tulasi Maharani : She is my guru in many ways, for the time being I can just say that the reciprocation and the mercy I received from her taught me to inculcate similar feelings for others, which I have yet to even start. I became aware of so many offenses I did while serving her initially, and I am sure I still don’t serve her properly, but she reciprocated just on some tinge of right feeling in my heart.

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  1. Rasikakeshava Prabhuji, Gurgaon : Prabhuji is one of the more sincere devotees in our small town. Prabhuji came to our home on way to his office, he works in a MNC co., I was surprised to see him wearing tilak to office. It was light and not as thick and bright we usually wear to temple but it was there and Prabhuji inspired me to follow the same. Now, most of the days I wear a very light tilak to office, no longer water, all thanks to him.

  2. Dhama : I wrote about my experience few weeks back on how dhama reciprocates when we try to serve than trying to enjoy its potency for our ownself. Its a big learning for me and I pray that always remember it. I learnt that I can serve dhama by serving devotees in the Dhama and visit as a guide for new people rather than just about me and Dhama.

  3. HH Bhakti Vijnana Mahaaraj : I love Maharaj and his style of explaining complex topics. It was only after hearing Maharaj’s lecture on how chanting purifies scientifically that I looked inside my own heart and pushed myself to improve my chanting. It was his seminar where I realised the potency of chanting. My chanting will never be the same, even on the worst of the days. I have written two unfinished blogs sharing what I learned in two seminars but they are turning out to be too long and

  4. Kirtana : I am not a very Kirtan person, I sure like them but lecture is always my first love. This year, after a gap of two years, I again attended the Barsana retreat by HH Sacinanadan Maharaj, for two days only. When I reached I found that it was the day of the 12 hour kirtan. At first I felt sad as I thought O! I missed all the lectures/katha and now one day will only be kirtan. Maharaj immediately put everyone in to the right mood to be absorbed in the kirtan and then it was one superlative performance after another. Later, how the kirtan ended for me is a topic for another blog in future. Let me share my chanting improved 200%, atleast for the time being. And what a feeling, it was if my anarthas were falling like huge sheets of glass, I could literally hear them breaking. I will never forget that experience my whole life. I will never undermine the potency of Kirtan, ever. Kirtan is my new guru.

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  1. Asit Prabhuji, Gurgaon : Prabhuji is one of the most senior and respected devotee in Gurgaon and teaches Vaishnava etiquette by his own example. So many incidents in the past one year which were eye openers for me. I feel so fortunate that we have a devotee with such high standard of manners which we can copy wholeheartedly.

  2. HG Damodar Prabhuji, Vrindavan : Prabhuji is very sweet and does very nice katha and more sweeter Vaishanava bhajans. Prabhuji gave me the taste to hear and learn Vaishanava bhajans, I always look forward to his class and it is because of him only that I fell in love with `Hari haraye namah krishna Yadvaye namah’ and other Vaishnava bhajans.

  3. Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta : I had so much hankering for knowing more and more and would collect all sort of books. I would read them for few days then jump to a new one. This continued till I read Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta . It was as if this is what my soul was searching from eternity. If I ever learn Bangla language, it will be only to taste its verses.

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  1. Guru’s words : What a guru. I learnt the hard way what is the consequence when I ignore instructions of my guru and also learnt in a very pleasant manner what are benefits when I cling to every single word of my guru, the results are many times disproportionate to my service. I have taken the words from a guru or instructions from a senior devotee as a separate personality whom I must server if I want to progress more than what I deserve.

  2. Servant of the servant: I went to serve guru maharaj during the recent Kanpur temple opening. After reaching the temple I found that two senior god brothers have already arrived with the same intent. Instead of being happier I at first felt a tinge of sadness in my heart as I thought that I will not get the opportunity to serve Guru Maharaj but then I let it go as I thought that these devotees are more qualified to serve guru maharaj than me and it is better only that they serve Guru Maharaj well rather than my service, which is basic at best. Then it dawned upon me that I can learn from them by serving them instead. I tried my best to serve them and I came back even happier than serving guru maharaj directly. I realised that this is my right position, servant of servant and I also realised that it is more pleasing to my soul. So now whenever I have the opportunity I try to serve those devotees who are serving Guru Maharaj, I feel happy to be a small inconsequential devotee who is assisting the direct servants in their service to guru. I never knew that being servant of the servant could be more satisfying than serving directly.

  3. Kartika month : This was the first year where we sang Damodarashtakam almost every evening at home. Result… very nice reciprocation, I got so many realisations and for the first time I learnt to meditate on the form of Lord while singing. I have realised that kartika month too is my guru and when I serve him, the reciprocation and learning are huge.

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19. HH Tamal Krishna Goswami Maharaj : I hear maharaj’s seminar on Damodarashtakam since last 2 years and it has left a lasting impression on my heart. It was only after hearing his prodding questions that inspired me to go a bit internal and improve my Sadhna Bhakti.

  1. Time : I learned how flexible time is actually. I did hear in a lecture that time can contract and expand but realised it only this year. I found so many times that while chanting, in the kirtan, the time stops, literally. I realised that as we go from gross to subtle and further subtle levels we can easily experience it. Time teaches me to put my heart into everything I do and then time takes a back seat.

  2. Association of Guru Maharaj :I love to relish just being near him. I feel that I am already participating in Lords pastimes. Days seem longer, just guru’s association in itself seems to be perfection for me.

  3. Srila Prabhupada : I got the service to send one Prabhupada quote to our local temple devotees, Initially I would cut and paste from ISKCONdesiretree and later I pushed myself to pick one from whatever I read that day. This habit continues since many months. It gave me unshakable faith in the writing of Srila Prabhupada as I realised how easily I am able to get quotes from almost every second verse and how they are absolute in themselves and need no explanation nor depends on some time, place or circumstances, unbelievable. I learn from Srila Prabhupada everyday. He is my eternal shiksha guru.

  4. Association of devotees : Another guru. I have started considering `association of devotees’ as a personality who cools my soul. Innumerable times I have benefited spiritually by just being in the association of devotees. So many devotees showered their mercy on me this year, HG Madhavananda Prabhuji, Amitab Krishna Prabhu. I had to open my introvert and dry heart and they poured their mercy in it and making it more malleable.

  5. Hearing Krishna Katha : Today I consider Krishna Katha as independent person and non different from Krishna Himself in many ways. This guru gives something rare…. greed for Krishna.

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sādhu-saṅge kṛṣṇa-nāma-ei-mātra cāi
saṁsāra jinite āra kona vastu nāi

Other than sadhu sanga and the name of Krishna, nothing else is needed to cross over the ocean of birth and death.

As I wrote in my last year blog that apart from these 24 gurus, I have a special half moon in my life, my spiritual master. He is my lord and my master, there is nothing that I have learnt from my own capability or ability, everything has happened due to the sheer causeless mercy of my spiritual master. I have understood that my eternal svarupa is to be his servant’s servant. Goal of my life ? What can I do to please him.


According to the deliberate opinion of all revealed scriptures, the spiritual master is non different from Kṛṣṇa. Lord Kṛṣṇa in the form of the spiritual master delivers His devotees. (CC Ādi 1.45 )

Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is identical with the Vedic hymn known as the Kāma-gāyatrī, which is composed of twenty-four and a half syllables. Those syllables are compared to moons that arise in Kṛṣṇa. Thus all three worlds are filled with desire. (CC Madhya 21.125)

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Realizing happiness in service

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Hare Krishna,

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Dandavat Pranams. Pls accept my humble obeisances.

To be honest, I have no qualification and with Giriraj Prabhuji setting such high standards that I almost feel ashamed and shy in penning my realizations…When you have Gold bullion, the value of 500 Rs note is insignificant…however I am still writing per instructions from my dear friend HG Giriraj Prabhu for whom I have very high respect and undoubtedly inexplicable love…

It is all due to causeless mercy of my Guru that he asked me to accompany him as his servant in USA. I reached here on 21st Nov 2014 with him and were staying with a family in New York. First day, I had practically nothing to do other than listening to his Golden words. On 22nd, I started feeling the itch. I had a comfortable sleep, nice prasadam, books to read but there was still an itch.

I went to Guru Maharaj and asked if anything needs to be done. He gave me some of his clothes to be ironed….I was over the moon. Couldn’t help inhaling the smell quickly. It took me an hour and I gave him back. I was rejuvenated. But after few hrs, the itch came back! I knew if I go to him, he would kick me out. So I asked the devotee cooking for him if there is anything I could do to help him. He knew by previous conversation I am ZERO in cooking, so he asked me to just throw the garbage downstairs and clean the bin….again I felt so nice….but in few hrs the itch came back – the itch to SERVE!

I then sat in solitude and started thinking why this itch never came for my parents, brothers, wife and family. I would never want to iron their clothes or throw garbage and more so ever clean it. I am too aristocratic for that. How come for the ones who have reared me, who gave me birth, whom I played with, I have no inclination to do any work leave aside menial ones. Infact my parents have started complaining that they wish if I could serve them similarly, they would also bless me – infact bless me even for trying, leave aside perfecting the service…If my parents would chastise, I would judge whether I really went wrong and answer them accordingly. I would not talk to my elder brother for days if I think he was unfair to me. And here I am – itching to serve, virtually anything and ready to take chastisement and learn from it…I have no problem in owning up that I am a fool and not be judgemental why I was chastised – rather say and feel sorry for troubling my spiritual master. Why so much insensitivity to my parents and other family relationships?

I realized with my parents and others, I had always felt I am the enjoyer. I am used to the fact that my mom and dad would do what makes me happy and once I am satisfied, I would not bother about them till my next desire come..how selfish of me..I would fret when my wife would want me to do A,B and C but it would be delight when she would massage my feet when I am tired…I was trying to be the master all the time and I didn’t want to be their servant as I felt even their love was based on reciprocal basis.

Based on my understanding from Srila Prabhupad books, it then dawned to me why I am enjoying the itch to serve. Our constitutional position is that we are the servant of the lord and we can derive true happiness only by serving HIM and his devotees. In material world we may enjoy being PM or president of the country or organization but it still agitates our mind as the quest for greed, fame etc keeps increasing. But when we do things that is our constitutional position, we are fully satisfied. The fish will eventually be happy in water, if u make fish the queen of the jungle, she may revel for sometime but her natural constitution is to roam around in water. It reminded me of wonderful pastime of King Prataparudra who was trying to get attention of Mahaprabhu. Though he was king, he sweeped the floor with Golden broom before Jagannath Rath Yatra and he felt extreme delight in massaging Lord’s feet. He came to following conclusion: We are kings or sweepers temporarily. Our permanent and exalted position is as humble servants of Krishna. So here I was enjoying the service of pure devotee and no wonder I was asking more. Srila Prabhupad has written this many places, I have heard and read umpteenth number of times but the realization dawned first time that I am servant of the servant of the servant of the Lord’s devotees. This is pure joy…

I was in pure ecstasy and went to Guru Maharaj and shared my realization. He beamed and was happy. He said once we understand this, next stage is we are not body and then complete surrender and then attachment with the Lord…It kind of scared me – should I be calling my wife and parents in few months and say goodbye? what if they say no? Do I really owe my parents anything? Guru Maharaj reading my thoughts, said: as a grahstha we have some responsibilities. Once parent knows what is good for the child, he tries and makes all efforts to give the same to his son and daughter. If you have understood where is the real happiness, then as a son it is your responsibility to make all efforts and getyour parents and family this taste. I protested my mom hasn’t changed in last 18 yrs despite my father’s and brother’s efforts. He responded you didn’t come to Krishna Conscious despite best efforts of your brother. He said it is important that we help others when we realize something so that their spiritual quotient also increases – this is real compassion. Whether they change or not is upto their free will but you have to give your mercy. He then also clarified – Try means really try your best as if you are giving engg exam.

I felt so wonderful with this realization…Guru Maharaj had  guided me long time back that you can learn lofty philosophy, become wonderful preacher but it has no value if our basics, our heart doesn’t change which happens by self realization and then our preaching becomes effective. Be humble, tolerant, compassionate, service is the key, we are not body and surrender are stepping stones. Self realization should lead to implementation..and perfection of the same is sadhana. I understood I need to serve my spiritual master, my devotee friends and all other knownships and acquaintance. I understood I need to serve my parents with similar intensity only the goal changes – “I would want them to become servant of my Lord as well….because more the servants, more happiness we can give to our master. So I will serve them and I will try or even beg they serve Srila Prabhupad messengers diligently which shall delight the Lord and their soul just like the way I felt. While serving, our own pain is not felt – happiness will help them to overcome bodily pain and misconception that they are body.

I don’t know if you all can relate to my realizations – If you cant, then I request just serve senior devotees in your area or your spiritual master exclusively (take few days break and serve HIM and see if you get the taste of service….if you try this few times – 5-6 times after developing relationship with that person, I am confident you will get it.)

I am very fallen and hope by getting your service I can become one of the members of your flock of birds soaring in spiritual realm under guidance of exalted devotees.

 

Thanking you again for giving me the opportunity to serve you

 

Very fallen servant,

Shyam Sunder Krishna Das

Falling in love.. again and again…

by

Hare Krishna.

14 Nov, 2014. Gurgaon.

jaya jaya śrī-caitanya svayaṁ bhagavān
jaya jaya gauracandra bhakta-gaṇa-prāṇa

(All glories to Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead! All glories to Lord Gauracandra, the life and soul of His devotees, CC Antya 14.2)

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Effect-of-Loving-God

Some weeks back, in an emotional state of mind, I, foolishly, sent the below SMS to Guru Maharaj.

`Guru Maharaj, I wanted to share that that I am having extra marital affair and that too with not one but many. I have fallen in love with Krishna, with Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, with Nityananad Prabhu, with Lord Jagannath, with you and with devotees like Shyamsundar Prabhuji and I have to only thank you for helping me establish this unique sambandh jnana with Lord, guru and devotees. I am most blessed to to have taken shelter in ISKCON and I promise that I will try my best to spread this love around.’

Reading it today I feel quite embarrassed at my childish attempt to use humour to drive home a simple point that inspite of my long list of disqualification, I am receiving a whole lot of unproportionally large volume of Love from so many channels around me.

As I take some baby steps in my spiritual journey, I find myself falling in love with an increasing number of devotees. And strangely, I observe that more the number of devotees I fall in love with, the more my love for Krishna increases automatically. When I make space for one more devotee in my heart, the heart acts on its own to make more space for Krishna and vice versa. Somehow the same very heart which could hardly accommodate only a few persons from family and friends circle ( looking back I think it only had one person in it, myself), now it seems be be getting bigger and bigger to make room for a large number of devotees, the quality of bonding and the intensity too has increased many times than what I ever increased in my material life.

In the past there was always a conscious and subconscious `give and take’ feeling, even with close friends. In fact the closer a person the higher used to be my expectations from him. Now, with devotees just the reverse is true. I don’t have any expectations from most of them and the only thing I long is to be in their association and, if possible, they speak about Krishna, but most of the time I am in a blissful state by just being near them.

Being a very introvert and dry person my list is still quite short and many a times the love is just one sided as the other devotee does not now how much love and respect I have for him. I wish I could name all but to name a few HH Gopala Krishna Goswami Maharaj, HG Rukmini Krishna Prabhu, HH Sacinanadan Maharaj, HG Karuna Prabhuji, Subir Prabhu, my dear friend Shyamsundar Prabhuji, HG Prasanto Mataji (what I would not give to have her as my mother), HH Giriraj Maharaj, HH Radha Govind Maharaj, HH Bhakti Vijnana Maharaj ( without even meeting Maharaj I feel so much connected to him), HG Radheshyam Prabhuji. I have fallen head over heels over HH Bhakti Charu Maharaj. And then all previous acharays, six Goswamis, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Lord Nityanand, Sri Mayapur Dham, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Lord Balram and Sri Radha & Krishna and Their associates, Tulasi Maharani ( another case of head over heels), ISKCON Punjabi Bagh temple, in fact all ISKCON temples, Vrindavan Deities, Damodar Lila, Govardhan Lila, Bhagavad Gita, Vaishnava bhajans, MVT, deep soulful kirtans, ISKCON, preaching,….. the list gets longer by each passing month.

Three special names I would like to mention in the end are hearing Krishna katha (how I wish if somehow I could dedicate my one ear 24 hours a day plugged in listening it), Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (completely and madly head over heels) and Srila Prabhupada. I don’t know how and when my respect for Srila Prabhupada turned into love. It has primarily happened due to the causeless mercy of Guru Maharaj.

I fell in love with Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta after hearing it the first time itself, while not even knowing who is Chaitanya Mahaprabhu! I still remember that it was during my initial days at Punjabi Bagh temple, speaker was HG Swargapati Prabhuji. What he was reading and reciting was beyond any definition of sweetness known to me before. After prabhuji’s lecture got over I collected some courage and approached him and asked from which book he was reading these verses. Prabhuji replied me he was reading from Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta. I immediately went to the book store and asked for it. The Prabhuji in charge of the store Looked at me from head to toe and then politely advised me to buy the condensed version first. I brought it home and after few days I went to Sri Vrindavan Dhama, checked into the guest for the first time and finished more than quarter of the book, but somehow I never completed it. Then few months back after hearing `Rupa Siksha’ lecture recording by HH Radha Govind Maharaj I felt inspired to read it and from that day onwards I read a few verses almost daily. I love all three from the core of my heart.

I am copying the song `Thakura Vaisnava Pada by Srila Narottama Das Thakura below. Although I still remain judgmental about devotees and do not have any such feeling in my heart yet I pray to our guru parampara to kindly bless me that one day such feelings about devotees can blossom in my dry, and stone like hard, heart.

ṭhākura vaiṣṇava pada, avanīra susampada,
śuno bhāi hoiyā eka mana
āśraya loiyā bhaje, tāre kṛṣṇa nāhi tyaje,
āra saba more akāraṇa
(O brother, please hear my words with rapt attention. The lotus feet of the Vaisnavas are the most valuable treasure of this world. These Vaisnavas continually take shelter of Lord Krsna and worship Him. They never abandon their Lord. They are liberated. They are free from the cycle of birth and death.)

vaiṣṇava caraṇa jala, prema bhakti dite bol,
āra keho nahe balavanta
vaiṣṇava caraṇa reṇu, mastake bhūṣaṇa vinu,
āra nāhi bhūṣaṇera anta
(The water that has washed the lotus feet of the Vaisnavas bestows devotional service in pure love of God. Nothing else is as effective for attaining this divine love. I place dust from the lotus feet of the Vaisnavas upon my head. I wear no other ornament.)

tīrtha jala pavitra guṇe, likhiyāche purāṇe,
se saba bhaktira pravañcana
vaiṣṇavera pādodaka, sama nahe ei saba,
yāte hoy vāñchita pūraṇa
(The purifying power of the waters at the various holy places of pilgrimage is described in the Puranas, although this is something of a deceptive trick. Actually there is not anything as purifying as the water that has washed the lotus feet of the Vaisnavas. This water fulfills all desires.)

vaiṣṇava sańgete mana, ānandita anukṣaṇa,
sadā hoy kṛṣṇa parasańga
dīna narottama kānde, hiyā dhairya nāhi bāndhe
mora daśā keno hoilo bhańga
(Moment after moment my mind finds pleasure in the association of the Vaisnavas. I always seek out the company of those who are devoted to Lord Krsna. Poor-hearted Narottama dasa breaks down and cries. How has this fallen condition come upon me?)

I beg devotees to kindly share their experience on falling in love with devotees.

All glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

How Dhama reciprocates with us !

by

Hare Krishna

24th October, 2014. Govardhan.

jaya jaya śrī-caitanya jaya nityānanda
jayādvaita-candra jaya gaura-bhakta-vṛnda

02.Govardhan-puja_2010

21st October : I was itching since morning to make a program to do Govardhan parikarma on Govardhan Puja day on 24th October but somehow the program was not get getting materialised. We, the whole family, came from Vrindavan 3 days back and they were reluctant to go again as its 10th class of my daughter and Priti, my wife, didn’t want more off from her coaching classes. Then, I was also told to spend some time at with kids on this weekend and my parents too will come to spend Diwali with us and will be home on 24th as well.

22nd Oct : I got a call from Guru Maharaj to pick a devotee from International airport coming from Russia at 3.30am and then to drop her at the domestic terminal at 9 am. I dropped the idea of going to Govardhan now as it will be too late to go, the desire to go, however, remained simmering in my heart.

23rd October : Diwali Day. I was still in two minds whether to go and how to go. In the morning I received a call from HG Sri Krishna Hari Prabhuji, who informed that he is taking a small group of devotees from Gurgaon to Govardhan next day morning. My desire to go got inflamed again. I called up devotees who were going next day with Prabhuji but they didn’t have any vacant seat in their car. Priti told me that if I am so keep to go then I can pick the devotee from the airport early morning and then she can drop her later, while I can leave for parikarma. Not sure whether to take the option, I messaged Shyamsundar Prabhuji seeking his advice. He strongly advised me against passing on service to even my wife, back to the square one.

24th October : Govardhan-Puja. I picked the devotee, a very very simple and intelligent devotee from Russia, serving TOVP, from the airport at 3.30am and then dropped her back at the domestic terminal at 9 am for her journey to Sri Mayapur Dhama. Later, coming back home from the airport I decided to go, even alone, for Govardhna Parikarma. Still, I pushed my parents to come with me and told my father that it is one of holiest day to go for Govardhan Parikarma. I also told them that they can do the parikarma in a riksha and as a added bonus they will stay in MVT in the most comfortable environment. After some cajoling my father agreed but mom refused flatly. She put a condition that she will only go if my wife comes along. Priti refused, as Samira, my daughter, had extra classes. A bit angry, I taunted my mother that she only wants Priti to come so that she has someone to talk to and gossip and then walked out of the room, thinking only the father and son duo will go today, leaving the ladies at home. As I walked out I heard my dad telling mom that think of it as `Shravan kumar’ taking his parents to Dhama yatra and that she should come, she refused again. Hearing my dad’s words suddenly something ticked inside my heart. Am I really a shravan Kumar kumar ? No ! I was forcing me mom so that my dad will have company in the riksha while I do the parikarma, walking. I also know that if I would have got a lift I would not have bothered to ask my parents. But his hearing his words had some effect on my dry heart. I returned back to the room and softly pleaded and then pushed my mother to come, promising to take care of them. Strangely, she agreed this time. Hari Bol !

As I came back in my room and told Priti that both mom and dad have agreed to come with me. I also shared how after hearing dad’s words my heart softened and how I am now thinking that let me take them to Govardhan yatra and I will go with them in the riksha and will not leave them to be on their own. I will also try to speak about some pastimes of the Lord on the way and this may be their only hope for getting mercy of the Lord. Priti asked what about her parents. I replied that they won’t agree to come with us but she can do the parikarma and then give the credit to her parents. After thinking for a few long seconds she agreed to my proposal ! A miracle seem to be taking place in my home. She said let’s drop the kids at her sister’s home but I pushed her that let’s take the kids too, emphasising that though it will definitely be very crowded there but then who else, if not us, will teach our kids to learn to take a little bit of austerity for some higher cause. She replied if the kids will agree to come on their own then she is fine. Again to my surprise , both the kids jumped at the idea and were ready to go. We were out of the house in next one hour, all prepared for Govardhana Parikarma. I also downloaded some lectures in Hindi for my parents on my phone and took the portable bluetooth speaker in the car for added effect, just in case.

As we started the journey, my mom started the general chit chat in the car. My father, generally quite tolerant, surprisingly, scolded her that we are going for a yatra and we should not gossip and should rather think about some good thoughts. Thinking that this is the right time I loudly said what a good idea ! let all of us hear about Govardhan Lila from a very senior sanyasi, HH Radha Govind Maharaj, that too in Hindi and then overriding my mom’s meek protests I switched the audio on. Within five minutes we were listening to the nector. To be honest, my mother went to sleep in few minutes but rest of the family members listened attentively. It was indeed pure nectar to my ears as I heard Maharaj recite the lila as if it has happened in front of his eyes.

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We reached Govardhan after 4 pm. It was not as crowded as I had expected it to be. We met another family while parking our car and together we hired a big auto for the parikarma. We did the parikarma and within 15 minutes everyone was in the right mood. We also walked for some time when the soft ground near Govardhan came. I spoke a little as to why do we do the parikarma and what is the significance of this day. As we went back to our Auto I was thinking how nice it would have been to walk all the distance but because of my family I am forced to do the parikarma in an auto. I also realised that I should never look down on devotees who apparently are not going through a simple austerity, as they could be be helping someone else as part of their preaching. So whilst feeling sad at not being able to walk I made myself a promise never to look down upon anyone else though I don’t know how soon I may forget it. I continue my ride in the rear seat of the auto, chanting and looking at Giri Govardhan with gratitude in my heart and trying to fill my eyes with His beauty.

Suddenly I saw a familiar face, it was HH Mahanidhi Maharaj doing parikarma with few devotees, as his usual fast pace. I felt so blessed just being able to take his darshan. I almost jumped off the auto, told the auto driver to stop while I’d be back in few minutes. I ran back but could not find Maharaj any where though it was a straight road. Feeling sad but not willing to give up, I tried to think fresh and looked around. I then saw a small group of devotees going inside a narrow alley instead of staying on the main road. I ran inside that alley and after, what seemed a very long 1 minute of running. caught up with Maharaj. I paid by dandavat, maharaj looked at me with surprise as I introduce myself. Maharaj commented nice name after hearing my initiated name, then maharaj blessed me and gave a name card and carried on. Oh ! What a bliss I felt in heart. I was able to pay dandavat to a pure devotee of the Lord while doing parikarma. I thanked Sri Govardhan and Maharaj for this unexpected opportunity and came back to the auto to complete the rest of the parikarma.

We finally reached near Radha Kund where auto rikshas were not allowed, We walked the last 1 km or so. I also went to the Samadhi of Sri Ragunath Nath Goswami and paid my obeisances. We finally reached the glorious Radha kund, we all did small puja, sprinkled Her holy water on our heads. I thanked Sri Radha Kund for giving me this opportunity to come back. I promised myself that from next trips I will try to bring some new devotees and help them feel attached to dhama rather thinking only about my own self. This was my realisation for this trip.

We then hurriedly drove to Krishna Balaram temple so that I can let my parents to Deep dana. The road to the temple was heavy with traffic but thankfully we could drive till the temple gate, reaching outside the temple, I asked my family to go quickly go inside as it was already 8.30pm while I park the car. As I entered the temple after parking the car, the altar doors were closed. I took the diya from the devotees and did deep dana with doors closed and curtain drawn on Sri Damodar. But inside my heart I could see them all and offered my prayers to each of Them with a good degree of devotion and gratitude. As I turned around and to keep the diya I again saw HG Sri Krishna Hari Prabhuji doing deep dana in front of a new painting of Damodar in the temple complex. I took my son there and asked him to offer the deep dana copying prabhuji. I then met Prabhuji and I thanked him for calling me yesterday morning and filling my heart with the greed to come here. Prabhuji shared that they too did the parikarma in an auto but unlike us they stopped at various lila sthais and did katha and kirtana. I then asked my family members whether they were able to to do deep dana and they replied in affirmative, they could do the deep dana as Krishna balram altar was open and they could also offer the same to Damodar as well. I was most happy and most thankful to the Lord for making this a double. I had never thought that we will be able to reach here in time.

OfferinglampstoSriSriKrishnaBalaraminISKCONVrindavan19

Then I called up Vishnujiwan Prabhuji who not only handed me the keys for our room but also gave me the garland of Srimati Radharani. Oh! I was so happy to receive it, for me it was as if the Deities were pleased that I did this yatra for my parents and family and not so much for my own self as in previous times. I again and again thanked Them and promised that from next time I will try to bring devotees for darshan rather than rushing and thinking just my own self. I always used to hear and wonder how can Dhama reciprocate but today, after a day full of surprises and realisations, I could see that Dhama has reciprocated with me today and I can only bow my head in gratitude and promise to become a better devotee from here onwards.

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura wrote this beautiful prayer called Mama Mana Mandire, which I am sharing as I pray that one day I too get some greed for Dhama and can serve it.

mama mana mandire raha niśi-din
kṛṣṇa murāri śrī kṛṣṇa murāri
(Please abide in the temple of my heart both day and night, O Krsna Murari, O Sri Krsna Murari!)

bhakti prīti mālā candan
tumi nio he nio cita-nandan
(Devotion, love, flower garlands, and sandalwood- please accept them, O Delighter of the Heart!)

jīvana maraṇa tava pūjā nivedan
sundara he mana-hārī
( In life or in death I worship You with these offerings, Beautiful One, O Enchanter of the Heart!)

eso nanda-kumār ār nanda-kumār
habe prema-pradīpe ārati tomār
(Come, son of Nanda, and then, O Son of Nanda, I will offer Your arati ceremony with the lamplight of my love.)

nayana jamunā jhare anibār
tomāra virahe giridhārī
(The waters of the Yamuna river cascade incessantly from my eyes in your separation, O Holder of Govardhana Hill!)

bandana gāne tava bajuk jīvana
kṛṣṇa murāri śrī kṛṣṇa murāri
(May I pass my life absorbed only in songs of Your praise, O Krsna Murari, Sri Krsna Murari!)

All glories to Sri Vrindavan Dham.
All glories to Sri Giri Govardhan.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

My dear mind..

by

Hare Krishna.

16th October, 2014. Gurgaon

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Mind

My mind was in an agitated state since last almost one week. It was mostly to do with some glaring shortcomings which manifested out from my heart, most glaringly during this most holy month of Kartika. Seeing all these anarthas inside my heart first shook me as I thought I had left them for good. I went gloomy for a couple of days and then it took a simple verse and one line in its purport to calm my agitation. The verse was BG 2.70 from Bhagavad Gita sent by HG Padmalocan Prabhuji from Singapore.

Translation:
A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires – that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still – can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires.

Purport
Although the vast ocean is always filled with water, it is always, especially during the rainy season, being filled with much more water. But the ocean remains the same – steady; it is not agitated, nor does it cross beyond the limit of its brink. That is also true of a person fixed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. As long as one has the material body, the demands of the body for sense gratification will continue. The devotee, however, is not disturbed by such desires, because of his fullness.

I realised that as long as I have this material body, desires will continue to come (and test me), rather than feeling morose I should see what my reaction is and even if I am able to catch my faults a little later it is still better than not being aware of them. I am in a practicing stage and it is a big mistake on my part to

1. assume that my anarthas have started reducing and things are getting better.
2. become complacent in my sadhna bhakti and think all is well
3. not to pray every single day to previous Acharays to protect me from Maya.
4. drill deep inside me that on my own I can not achieve anything in the spiritual life.
5. keep on practicing to be always be in the mood of a servant and remain humble with everyone be it my family, office, not just devotees.
6. And lastly I should stay away from any arguments/debates with Mayavadis at this stage.

What desires I had and what happened will take a lot of unnecessary space but you will get the clear idea as I post below prayer. It was all primarily to do with material desires, expecting honour, unnecessary urge for knowledge, lack of time for spiritual reading and a general frustation with the material life. As I searched in my mind for a prayer today morning, fit for my current state of mind, I somehow remembered the Manaḥ-śikṣā by Srīla Raghunatha Dasa Gosvamī. I love this prayer, HG Damodar Prabhu took few classes in Gurgaon and they were all eye openers for me and by some causeless mercy I remember it. They are also favourite of HH Sacinanadan Maharaj and I still remember his vivid description of verse no. 7 in one of Maharaj’s retreats. I am copying verses 5, 6 & 7 below along with a brief commentary which I am copying from whatever I read or heard from the senior devotees, they are not my realisations.

verse 5 Translation
“Lust, anger and so on are a band of dacoits who assail one suddenly on the open road of material life. They have bound my neck licentiously with the torturous, dreadful ropes of wicked deeds and are thus killing me.” O mind, speaking in this way, you must grievously cry out to the powerful and merciful devotees who are the protectors of the path of devotion leading to Śrī Kṛṣṇa, the killer of Bakāsura. Hearing your piteous cry, they will surely protect you from such a condition.

Comments:
The contamination of our heart can only be removed by the influence of association with Vaiṣṇavas who are free from all the pride and after we get their mercy then the heart can very easily be cleansed of all disturbances.

HG Damodar Prabhu told us that we should cry aloud for Srila Prabhupada under such situations. I had forgotten it and I did it today and will pray that I remember this instruction for the rest of my worthless life.

Verse 6 translation
O wicked mind, although you adopt the path of sādhana, you imagine yourself purified by bathing in the trickling urine of the great donkey of full-blown deceit and hypocrisy. By doing so, you are simultaneously burning yourself and scorching me, a tiny jīva. Stop this! Delight yourself and me by eternally bathing in the nectarean ocean of pure love for the lotus feet of Śrī Rādhā-Krishna.

Comments:
Overt or covert deceitfulness and hypocrisy which are present in a devotee, even after adopting the path of sadhana, are compared to the urine of a donkey. Considering oneself to be engaged in bhajana while remaining devious and hypocritical at heart is like considering oneself pure by bathing in the filthy, burning urine of a donkey. We should carefully disregard this danger.

As a Sadhaka we should learn to become honest with our own self. Otherwise, by resorting to deceitfulness, he is sure to slip down. Some examples of such manifestation: indulging in sense enjoyment on the pretext of sādhana-bhakti, serving wealthy and influential materialists instead of unpretentious devotees, accumulating wealth beyond one’s needs, having great enthusiasm for futile, temporary enterprises, indulging in illogical arguments on the pretext of cultivating knowledge, making an external show of strict adherence to rules and regulations but remaining inwardly attached to material subjects, preferring the association of philanthropists, mundane scholars, yogīs and materialistic people to that of resolute, loving devotees.

Instead One is here advised to bathe in the ocean of nectar that consists of divine spiritual transformations born out of love for the lotus feet of Sri Radha Giridhari.

Verse 7 Translation
O mind, how can pure divine love appear in my heart as long as the shameless dog-eating, outcaste woman of the desire for prestige is audaciously dancing there? Therefore always remember and serve the immeasurably powerful commanders of the army of Śrī Kṛṣṇa, the beloved devotees of the Lord. They will at once banish this out-caste woman and initiate the flow of immaculate vraja-prema in your heart.

comments :
The desire for prestige is an audacious, dog-eating, out-caste woman. The desire for honour and distinction is called pratiṣṭhāśā. Although all other anarthas may be dispelled, the desire for prestige is not easily removed. From this, all kinds of deceit and hypocrisy arise and are gradually nourished. The desire for prestige is called shameless, for although it is the root of all anarthas, it fails to acknowledge its own fault. It is also called cāṇḍālinī, a female dog-eater, for it is engaged in eating the dogmeat of fame.

A sadhaka yearns to be recognised as virtuous, benevolent and free from all sin. The sadhaka thinks, “I am a devotee of Krishna, I understand things clearly, and I am not interested in any material enjoyment.” In this way he nourishes the desire to expand his fame.

As long as the desire for honour and distinction has not been driven from the heart, deceit will remain; and until one becomes free from deceit, he cannot obtain pure, unalloyed divine love.

The words prabhu-dayita in this verse means those who are extremely dear to Lord Krishna. The word `atula’ means “that which has no comparison”. The word sāmanta means “a general or commander of an army”. Always serve the powerful generals of the army of Krishna’s devotees. Their mercy is unparalleled and they are very dear servitors of Lord Krishna. The divine rays of hlādinī-śakti are reflected in the hearts of pure Vaiṣṇavas. From their hearts, these rays of hlādinī-śakti are transmitted into the hearts of other faithful sādhakas, thus dispelling the anarthas of wickedness, deceit and hypocrisy and manifesting love for lord Krishna. The embrace of pure Vaiṣṇavas, the dust from their lotus feet, the water that washes their feet and their instructions are all fully competent to cleanse our heart. Therefore in the Padma Purāṇa, worship of the Vaiṣṇavas is declared to be even higher than the worship of Bhagavān:

[Śrī Mahādeva said:] O Pārvatī, the worship of Śrī Viṣṇu is the highest of all different types of worship. But even superior to that is the worship of His devotees.

In Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Antya-līlā 16.60–1) it is said:

The dust of the lotus feet of devotees, the water that washes their feet and the remnants of their prasāda – these three are very powerful. By honouring these three, one attains love for the lotus feet of Śrī Kṛṣṇa. This has been proclaimed in all the scriptures again and again.

Hence the above verse concludes that the beloved devotees of Lord Krishna are the incomparably powerful generals of the Lord’s army. By serving them all anarthas are eradicated very easily and it also generates the divine love for Sri Radha Krishna.

I request all serious devotees to please read and meditate on this most wonderful prayer by Sri Raghunath Dasa Goswami. Please read or hear its commentary by a senior devotee, there are many lectures/ seminars on Iskcondesiretree on it, it will be difficult to understand its complete meaning by our own effort.

So after going through many waves of agitation my mind is now peaceful. And after thinking and reading this wonderful prayer made me aware to always remain alert for attack from the material desires and in case of such feelings I need to cry out to my guru and Srila Prabhupada… loudly ! And to further protect myself I must serve vaishanavas to the best of my ability and I should always remain hungry for their association.

All glories to the most merciful devotees of Lord Krishna.
All glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Fault finding is good !!

by

Hare Krishna.

9th July, 2014, Gurgaon.

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Suffering

Last week, as usual I got up in the morning and walked towards the kitchen to drink some water. Just after five steps, and in a micro second, my legs were up in the air as I slipped badly and then fell flat on my left elbow. It took me some time to realise that the living room floor had water on it. As I nursed my bruised elbow I realised that whole living room floor had a thin layer of water on it. Because of the shine of the floor I could not see water on it. Hearing the sound of my fall Priti, my wife, too rushed into the living room. I told her half jokingly that I did not know that she had created a `Maya palace’ for me and I have slipped like Duryodhana would have slipped when he visited the new palace of Pandavas in Hastinapur. We had a good laugh and we got our act together to clean the floor together.

After the whole floor was cleaned I looked back and tried to analyse why did this happen. My mental speculation was that this is Lord’s home and something like this should not have happened. My first thought was that Priti’s niece and her family were here and they might have brought their shoes inside the house and that’s why this thing happened, it was quite a thin argument. Second thought that occurred to me was I did not do `temple marjnam’ at home, as is being done at every Jagannath temple across the country this time of the year, so may be this is Lord’s way to get His this house cleaned ! When I shared my thoughts with Priti she rightly brushed aside my arguments saying that I am trying to find supernatural reasons where non exist. Somehow my train of thought changed as I realised that I am trying to look for all the reasons which others, including Lord Himself, might have created this situation while conveniently ignoring my own self. Then I started looking at my own actions scrutinisingly in last few days and I realised I have done a lot of mistakes in last 3-4 days itself, offenses against Vaishanavas, my own family members and even against Tulsai Maharani!! They all gave me a mild shock. These mistakes, of course, had nothing to do with water on the floor as after some delibration we found the technical reason, one of the balcony drain choked during the last night’s rain and there was some leakage from one of tiles under the glass door. Few months back there was a similar problem in our other balcony which we got repaired but never bothered to test the other balcony too, so it was our fault.

I offered my apologies to the Lord for not keeping Their home in good condition as due to my carelessness their home got flooded with water. I also offered apologies for all the mistakes I had just remembered during my quick introspection and promised that I will try my best not to repeat them. I then begged Srila Prabhupada to kindly bless me with intelligence so that I do not make repeat my mistakes as my own material intelligence is very limited.

I felt very happy from inside as I appreciated how much Lord guides us internally to see something positive in each negative situation, this is not at all my normal mode of thinking, rather opposite is true. Just a few months back my normal reactions would have been to first sulk at my bruised elbow, then I would have curtly told my wife to clean the floor herself as I have to chant my rounds first and lastly I would have cursed my civil contractor for the shoddy job done he did and more.

My realisation was that whenever something not so good happens to me then without being superstitious I must use that incident to do some bit of introspection and see where all I `slipped’ in my devotional service in last few days/weeks/months. Whatever mistakes I will be able to remember would give me a chance to correct them, not to repeat them and a pretext to reciprocate with guru and Lord.

I discovered that fault-finding is good … but only if I do it for my own self (and I must do it periodically).

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Al glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga.

My report card in Krishna consciousness for 2014.

by

Hare Krishna.

23rd June, 2014. Gurgaon

Quotes-by-Srila-Prabhupada-on-Best-Gainer

Since last many days I am reading 23rd chapter of Madhya Lila CC. This chapter ends with verses from Bhagavad Gita (12.12-20). These verses get quoted after Mahāprabhu explains what is proper renunciation to Sanatana Goswami, which I copied in my last blog.

At first I was surprised to see so many verses from Bhagavad Gita together as, in whatever little chapters I have read in CC, the reference verses are generally quoted from Srimad Bhagavatam. I read these verses quickly and then reread them and then read again but somehow I could not read further, as if something is amiss in my reading. Yesterday night, while I was again trying to force myself to read further, I realised that these verses hold the key to what qualification a devotee should have for him to be liked by the Lord. I felt that I can test myself, by benchmarking against these qualities, and check the result. Am I dear to Lord ? It was quick work and here is the result. I call it my report card for year 2014, similar to what we used to get in the school.

I broke the lines of the verses and have written my current status against each quality mentioned by the Lord

CC Madhya 23.107: “‘

One who is not envious but is a kind friend to all living entities, – Some improvement but mostly at surface level as I chose with whom to be kind and with whom to behave cold, I am judgmental and get envious especially where I should not.
who does not think himself a proprietor – Most of the times I consider myself as the proprietor be it with my family or at work.
is free from false ego- I am completely in bodily consciousness, frankly I don’t think I have ever dealt with anyone thinking that I am a soul, barring some exceptional circumstances.
who is equal in both happiness and distress, – very little progress, I have a disease of liking it when get things done my way.
who is always satisfied, : some progress as I am not unsatisfied materially but spiritually very much unsatisfied.
forgiving and self-controlled – a little better on this front but still many a times I get unforgiving internally while maintaining a cool facade outside. I also lose self-control at home sometimes and at work too, slow progress.
who is engaged in devotional service with determination, : no devotional engagement other than sending some messages, mails and writing childish blogs.
his mind and intelligence dedicated to Me — I beg everyday to Srila Prabhupada to give me some intelligence so that I can participate in his mission and serve ISKCON.
such a devotee of Mine is very dear to Me.

marks : 1/8

CC Madhya 23.108: “‘
He by whom no one is put into difficulty or anxiety : I know I give anxiety to my wife many a times and I am sure there must be many others as well, I am half blind in such matters.
who is not disturbed by anyone, : again a little better on this front but still it easy to disturb me, specially by those who are close to me.
who is liberated from jubilation, : a littler progress here,at least in some cases I remember Krishna at times of jubilation and thank Him for making it possible.
anger, : it has reduced but I still get angry many a times.
fear – a little progress here
anxiety, : some progress here
is very dear to Me.

marks : 2.5/6

CC Madhya 23.109: “‘
A devotee who is not dependent on others but is dependent solely on Me, – I still, mostly, live with a notion that I am the doer. I am not be dependent on others but yet not fully dependent on Krishna as well.
who is clean inwardly and outwardly: outwardly a little clean but inwardly filled with envy, selfishness, hidden material desires & accustomed to material comforts
who is expert, : complete failure here
indifferent to material things, : a little progress here.
without cares and free from all pains, and : very little progress here
who rejects all pious and impious activities : I don’t even understand this stage properly so implementing is very far.
is very dear to Me.

marks : 1.5/6

CC Madhya 23.110: ”
One who is free of all material jubilation, : a little progress
hatred, : a little progress.
lamentation and : some progress here
desire, : some progress
who renounces both materially auspicious and materially inauspicious things: I have no proper understanding of this statement so again implemetation is far.
who is devoted to Me : no devotion, mostly a show off, neither good in Vaidhi Bhakti nor in spontaneous Bhakti.
is very dear to Me.

marks : 2/6

CC Madhya 23.111-112: “‘
One who is equal to friends and enemies, : a little progress here
who is equipoised in honor and dishonor, : small progress here
heat and cold, : still get affected
happiness and distress, : small progress
fame and infamy, : small progress
who is always free from attachment to material things and : a little progress but I think my material desires have just shifted from conscious level to a subconscious level.
always grave and satisfied in all circumstances, : I am a naive person
who doesn’t care for any residence, : a little progress here but it all may just be all at surface level as I haven’t practiced it diligently.
and who is always fixed in devotional service : I can only dream for such a stage.
— such a person is very dear to Me.

marks : 3/9

CC Madhya 23.113: “‘Devotees who follow these imperishable religious principles of Kṛṣṇa consciousness with great faith and devotion, fully accepting Me as the supreme goal, are very, very dear to Me.’

If I count all the parameters and give one mark to each parameter then I score 10/35 !! This too when I liberally gave myself 0.5 marks wherever I made some progress, the right marking would be 0.25 for a small progress. In that case my correct score would be a grand 5 out of 35 !

I thought hard and looked at my score and thought `is this a failure’ ? Have I failed in Krishna consciousness. The answer, surprisingly, was not a yes. Was this test depressing ? Again a no. Let me share why not

1. First it shows that I have indeed made some progress since I started practicing bhakti yoga and took shelter under ISKCON.

2. This unique test tells me, broadly, where I stand today in my spiritual journey today. Lately, mostly due to praise from ever generous and softhearted devotees, I had started believing that I am doing quite fine as a devotee. This test shattered the myth created by my dear mind.

3. This test tells me that if I can walk this much with whatever little efforts I have put in then what awaits me if I put more of my heart into Krishna consciousness then I will be able to take further baby steps beyond this stage. I have to definitely improve my chanting.

4. It tells me the power of causeless mercy and how important the role of prayers has been in my spiritual journey. How my long list of disqualification has indeed become my qualification to receive mercy of Mahāprabhu and guru parampara, so I should pray more and serve ISKCON.

5. Lastly, it tells me that Krishna consciousness indeed is a science. And it is working for me! And this is in spite of my lack of steadfastness, intelligence and complete lack of enthusiasm to serve Vaishanavas.

I pray at the lotus feet of all the Vaishanavas to have pity on this most fallen soul, please show me the right way and bless me so that my consciousness improves and I can serve in the sankirtan movement of Mahāprabhu.

I am copying the famous `Ohe Vaishanava Thakura’ song by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura for the pleasure of the devotees below.

ohe! vaiñëava öhäkura, dayära sägara, e däse karuëä kari’
diyä pada-chäyä, çodha he ämäre, tomära caraëa dhari

O worshipable Vaishanava Thäkura! Ocean of mercy! Be merciful upon this servant and, giving me the shade of your feet, purify me. I am taking hold of your lotus feet!

chaya vega dami’, chaya doña çodhi’, chaya guëa deha’ däse
chaya sat-saìga, deha’ he ämäre, bosechi saìgera äçe

Help me subdue the six urges and purify my six faults, please bestow upon me the six qualities of a devotee, and offer me the six kinds of devotional association. I am sitting in your association, hoping to receive this.

ekäké ämära, nähi päya bala, harinäma-saìkértane
tumi kåpä kari’, çraddhä-bindu diyä, deha’ kåñëa-näma-dhane

Alone, I do not have the strength to perform my harinäma-sankirtana. Please be kind and give me one drop of faith. Please bestow upon me the priceless treasure of Krishnanama!

kåñëa se tomära, kåñëa dite pära, tomära çakati äche
ämi ta’ käìgäla, ‘kåñëa kåñëa’ bali’, dhäi tava päche päche

Krishna is yours! You have the power to give Krishna! I am nothing more than a beggar running behind you, calling out “Krishna! Krishna!”

All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

All glories to the association of devotees who encourage me everyday by their sheer beahviour.

Prayers by devotees

by

Hare Krishna.

26th May, 2014, Gurgaon.

Back-To-Godhead-Pray-To-Godhead

 

Yesterday, 25th May, turned out to be a day when I realised the power of prayer by devotees.

I was suffering from a bad throat since last 2 days and 24th evening was worst. When I woke up around 6am on 25th morning I felt terrible. I could not speak and even the simple task of getting up from the bed proved to a big effort. I felt very hungry and extremely thirsty. I drank some warm water, then I somehow remembered that Atma Prabhu had told me to take Neem capsules regularly, which I stopped some time back, so I took one capsule as well. I checked my temperature it was 101.3F. As it was Dwadashi so I waited for 6.50am and then I had some hot ginger lemon water with honey. I started coughing continuously and had green colour phelgm, confirming that I had an infection.

The hot concoction I drank gave me some relief and I slowly started chanting my rounds. But after less than an hour I felt too tired and stopped my chanting. I watched Mayapur.tv for some time and listened to HG Madhav Prabhu singing soulfully at a retreat. I also took crocin and later had my breakfast. I felt cold and had to take a quilt in the hot summer weather. I checked the fever again it was almost 102F now and my cheeks seem to be oozing heat. It was almost 9.45am. My wife was pushing me since yesterday to see a doctor and get antibiotics but today being a Sunday all the doctors were closed. I myself didn’t have any energy or a will to see the doctor. I took my bath.

In the meantime I got a call from HG Shyam Sundar Prabhu, who broke the sad news that HG Advaita Hari Prabhu left his body in Kolkata few days back. I had the good fortune to meet Prabhuji twice and I clearly remember his sweet and affectionate long talks. He was always most helpful to everyone in Mayapur. He was disciple of HH Jayapataka Swami, serving as chief finance officer and deputy director of Mayapur. He was currently involved in corporate preaching in nearby regions of Mayapur and Kolkata. Shyam Sundar prabhu narrated me how Prabhuji took such good care of  HH Janananda Maharaj that maharaj declared that he will now come more often to Mayapur only because of Sri Advait Hari Prabhu. Shyam Sundar Prabhuji also made a very good statement that unlike `karmis’ when devotees leave this world what we miss most is their association. I pray to Lord Sri Krishna that He may give HG Advaita Hari prabhu a service in His eternal abode.

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HG Advaita Hari Prabhuji

As we spoke for some time, Shyam Sundar Prabhu found out from my constant coughing that I was not very well. After the call was over I received a message on the Bhagavad Gita whatsapp group, which we run, and when I opened it, to my embarrassment, I found that due to a strong brotherly affection Prabhuji had posted a message to the group that I am not well and devotees should pray for me. I immediately messaged him back and requested him not to post such messages for me and that too for a simple cough and fever. I then added, for some effect, that if he really wants to pray for me then he should pray for my spiritual life that I should get attached to the holy name. Prabhuji’s reply stumped me as he spoke `Prabhuji I am praying for your material body so that you can serve the devotees and preach !‘

After this posting I received messages from some devotees and I told all of them that I am fine and just a little under the weather. By this time it was past 11am, I felt very tired and dozed off again.

I woke up around 3.30pm and felt a little different. It took me a few seconds to realise that I actually feel much better. In fact I felt as if I was almost recovered. I ate my lunch. I seem to have regained most of my energy, there was minimal cough- phelgm was now whitish and no tiredness at all. I was most surprised at this sudden transformation. I, then, remembered the message Prabhuji had posted on the whatsapp group and I realised that some merciful devotee(s) prayed for me and their prayers did the work instantly, it was like magic. I had my energy back, I played with my kids for some time and then called up Shyam Sundar Prabhu and shared with him this unique experience. He too was very surprised and happy to hear it. I thanked all the devotees mentally and in my state of happiness forgot to even thank  Shyam Sundar prabhu as I knew that he would have been the first one to pray for me. Thank you so much to all the devotees.

What are my realisations  –

1. Well, first of all, I must ensure that I serve all the devotees, specially the senior ones, to the best of my ability and regularly take the benefit of their association, life is too short and unpredictable to wait or to be lazy.

2. I would never underestimate the power of prayers by devotees.

3. I regularly receive messages, mails and requests for praying for a devotee or a devotee’s relative who is not well. If such requests are one to one then I make it a point to chant an extra round or pray to Srila Prabhupada for him/her. But many a times when it is a forwarded mail or a mail copied to many devotees then I skip it as well, there are many excuses which my lousy mind makes up. So I promised myself that from today onwards whenever I will receive such a request I will make sure that I pray for that devotee, I will never skip it.

3. And lastly, I realised that the real purpose of reading all the scriptures, and gaining knowledge, is to convince my own self that I should feel attached to Krishna and His devotees.

 

 

Regarding your questions are the Spiritual Master and the Grand Spiritual Master consciously aware of the prayers of a sincere devotee who prays in love to Them?—the answer is that no conscious prayers go in vain. They are transmitted positively.    (By Srila Prabhupada, Letter to Mahananda, Los Angeles, 1970)

 

Thank you respected devotees for showing me the right way and improving my consciousness to always pray for others. I will not forget it.

 

All glories to the most merciful Vaishanavas.

All glories to Srila Prabhupada